Simple Truths

never go duck hunting
in corduroys

it is a simple truth
try it and you’ll understand why

ketchup is for hamburgers
mustard is for hotdogs

don’t fight it based on taste
accept that it is true

it is easier this way
save energy for the larger battles

never loan money
to anyone who smokes menthols

try not to play poker with them
trust this is true because it is simple

you must love or hate the Yankees
midgets are funny

praying for snow days is fruitless
because God hates schoolchildren

end the struggle and accept it
voiceovers ruin movies

you can’t trust anyone
that drinks Genesee Cream Ale

trust in the simple
believe in the truth