Just how big?
We had a garage sale this weekend. Garage sales are, of course, built upon the Bigger Idiot Theory (I heard on NPR recently that the current housing bubble is built on the same theory).
This isn't anything new. I seem to remember an episode of Married...With Children that centered on this, and on the fact that the Bundys were the last in the chain, the final biggestest idiots.
But what I realized as people rummaged through the stuff I'd rather have disappear for a dime than move again is that while people are aware of this theory, they only apply it so far. They essentially just want an assurance that the fabled Biggest Idiot isn't in fact them, and stop thinking much about it once the first idiot arrives. But, if you look at it as a percentile, if you try and examine the kind and number of idiots that are bigger idiots than you, you can gain a valuable insight.
Just how big an idiot am I? Am I a 50th percentile idiot, meaning if I pass 100 people on the street I will be a bigger idiot than 50 of them? Am I a smug 12th percentile idiot? Or is it possible that I might slip to the dreaded 99th percentile, a bigger idiot than 99 of 100 people I pass on the street, and exactly as big an idiot as the last guy of the 100, who turns out to be my own reflection in a shop window?
Add in some qualitative analysis and you can even find out what kind of idiot you are. Plenty of idiots were willing to show up and buy my old movies and cd's, even, finally, the Guess Who's Greatest Hits, that has seen more garage sales than an entire suburban tract of bored houswives. Nary an idiot could be found, however, big enough to touch my knickknacks or my wives candles.
I don't know if I want to have this insight into myself as reflected in my garage sale traffic.
I could have lived without knowing just how big, or exactly what kind, of idiot I am.
This isn't anything new. I seem to remember an episode of Married...With Children that centered on this, and on the fact that the Bundys were the last in the chain, the final biggestest idiots.
But what I realized as people rummaged through the stuff I'd rather have disappear for a dime than move again is that while people are aware of this theory, they only apply it so far. They essentially just want an assurance that the fabled Biggest Idiot isn't in fact them, and stop thinking much about it once the first idiot arrives. But, if you look at it as a percentile, if you try and examine the kind and number of idiots that are bigger idiots than you, you can gain a valuable insight.
Just how big an idiot am I? Am I a 50th percentile idiot, meaning if I pass 100 people on the street I will be a bigger idiot than 50 of them? Am I a smug 12th percentile idiot? Or is it possible that I might slip to the dreaded 99th percentile, a bigger idiot than 99 of 100 people I pass on the street, and exactly as big an idiot as the last guy of the 100, who turns out to be my own reflection in a shop window?
Add in some qualitative analysis and you can even find out what kind of idiot you are. Plenty of idiots were willing to show up and buy my old movies and cd's, even, finally, the Guess Who's Greatest Hits, that has seen more garage sales than an entire suburban tract of bored houswives. Nary an idiot could be found, however, big enough to touch my knickknacks or my wives candles.
I don't know if I want to have this insight into myself as reflected in my garage sale traffic.
I could have lived without knowing just how big, or exactly what kind, of idiot I am.
posted by JJisafool at 10:55 AM
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